THE DARK SIDE OF POSITIVE THINKING

THE DARK SIDE OF POSITIVE THINKING IN STRESS COACHING

As stress coaches, our primary goal is to help individuals manage their stress levels and improve their overall well-being. One of the common strategies we employ is helping clients to stop negative thinking patterns and to encourage positive thinking.

The power of positive thinking has been widely discussed. There are many books written about it. We know that positive thinking has numerous benefits, including reducing stress and anxiety, boosting self-confidence, and improving overall health.

However, there is a dark side to positive thinking that is often overlooked. While positive thinking is a useful tool, it can also be harmful, if taken to the extreme. So, let’s explore the dangers of excessive positive thinking in stress coaching and provide strategies for achieving a balanced mindset.

The Pressure to Think Positively

As a stress coach, I often emphasise the importance of positive thinking. I try to encourage clients to maintain a positive outlook by paying attention not only to negative issues but also by drawing attention to the positive aspects of a situation and cultivating a positive attitude. With time, I realised that while this approach can prove to be helpful, it can also create pressure to maintain a positive mindset at all times, which is never the intention.

The pressure to think positively is overwhelming. And if maintaining a positive outlook is difficult, it can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Additionally, constantly trying to suppress negative thoughts and emotions is exhausting (Do we really need to suppress them?). This will definitely lead to an increase in stress levels. And this is the opposite of what I am trying to achieve in my work.

The Limitations of Positive Thinking

What I learned in my work over the years is that there is a danger to excessive positive thinking: it is limiting. When we focus only on the positive, we overlook the negatives, and therefore, do not address issues or forget to plan for the future. For example, if a client is feeling overwhelmed and burnt out due to a high workload, simply telling them to think positively will not be enough to ease their stress. So, if a client is experiencing workplace stress, encouraging them to think positively will not remove their immediate emotional distress.

Positive thinking is a useful tool, but research has shown that excessive positive thinking can have negative effects on mental health. A study by McNulty and Fincham (2011) found that individuals who unrealistically idealised their partners and romantic relationships were more likely to experience disappointments and other negative emotional reactions to relationship problems. This suggests that excessive positive thinking can make it more difficult for individuals to cope with challenges.

Toxic Positivity

Pushing excessive positive thinking often leads to toxic positivity. This is when an individual tries to force themselves or others to be positive and happy all the time, even in the face of difficult or negative situations. Toxic positivity is harmful. It invalidates and dismisses real emotions and struggles. It makes individuals feel like they are not allowed to express negative emotions or that they are failing if they are not constantly positive.

Imagine a person who has recently lost their job and is feeling sad and stressed about their financial situation. They meet with a friend. This friend tells them just to stay positive and everything will work out. How will the person feel? How would you feel if you were that person? With their real feelings and emotions dismissed, this will make that person feel even worse. It is almost like saying to them that their emotions are not valid or that they are not allowed to express them, leading to further stress and loneliness.

Balancing Positive and Negative Thinking

So, what is the solution? How do we achieve a balanced mindset that acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of a situation?

The key is to practice considering both the positive and negative aspects of a situation and develop a practical plan of action. This involves accepting that things will not always work out perfectly, but that there are opportunities to learn and grow from challenging situations.

In stress coaching, I encourage clients to do that. I help them to identify their negative thinking patterns and challenge them with evidence-based reasoning. For example, if a client believes that they will never be able to manage their workload, I help them identify evidence to show the opposite, e.g. times when they have successfully managed similar workloads in the past.

As stress coaches, it’s important for us to remember that positive thinking is not a one-size-fits-all solution for managing stress. While it is a useful tool, it’s important to acknowledge the negative aspects of a situation and develop a plan of action based on realistic thinking. Additionally, we must be aware of the dangers of excessive positive thinking, including the pressure to maintain a positive mindset at all times and the harmful effects of toxic positivity.

By helping my clients achieve a balanced mindset that acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of a situation, we can help them effectively manage their stress levels and improve their overall well-being.

By trying to achieve a balanced view of a situation, that includes both the positive and negative aspects, we can help clients to manage their stress levels and improve overall well-being a lot more effectively. So, the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, take a moment to reflect on both the good and bad and consider a practical plan of action.

If you need additional information or support, please get in touch. My contact details are here:
https://naramorrison.co.uk/#contacts